In The Crooked Lines by Ismant Chugtai, Shaman is the 10^th child in a muslim family and she has been neglected both physically and mentally during most of her childhood. Her family had not explained to her about sexual desires and she was also excluded from public and private spheres. We will now see how that caused her to be sexually fluid and its effects and how were her first few relationships as a heterosexual women

Her sexual and romantic attractions and desires are not age specific or gender specific. As a child her wet nurse Unna had taken care of her but after she left she missed her “soft, warm bosom”( page 3, The Crooked Lines). When Manjhu, her sister started to take care of her she developed sexual feelings for her. She once caught Manjhu bathing and stared at her and even made her blush. Manjhu also complained to Bari Apa that Shaman was “ tickling her in a most unbecoming manner”( page 4, The Crooked Lines).

Even in school gender did not seem an issue for Shaman. She could not form a biological bond with her biological mother so she was looking for a mother figure to have that bond with. She found that in her teacher Miss Charan or so we thought. She idealizes this mother substitute but also has unconscious repressions. She later developed sexual feeling for her and was obsessed with her and also often dreamt about sleeping in her bed. This proved to be her downfall as she was caught sleeping in Miss Charan’s bed and 3 days after the incident Miss Charan had left the school. Shaman’s desires had gotten the better of her and it left her in a dark place.

Shaman’s desires did not stop as she then got into a love triangle between herself, Saadat and Najma. With Saadat and Najma being the best of friends and often talking for in her room, she often felt like the outsider in her own room. Slowly she started to have desire for Najma too and was often be overcome with the memory of “ the movement of Najma’s lips, and the pleats of her waist”( page 67, The Crooked lines). Najma also starts to see Shaman differently when at the fancy dress show she was constantly blushing at Shaman even though she was wearing a men’s attire.

After Najma and Saadat, Bilquis was now Shaman’s best friend. Her time with Bilquis is ery important as it is she who tells Shaman that “ Apa Bi told we should be crazy about boys and not girls”( page 78, The Crooked lines). This was a turning point in Shaman’s life as this was a psychological shock and according to her, the idea of cross sex marriage was “ rubbish”. After this realization she was now forced to go on an alternative trajectory.

Shaman’s sexuality is a key theme in the novel. Her transformation from being queer to being ‘straight’ is ambigious. Taking the term ‘ straight’ in reference, could the author be hinting at this ambiguity through the title ‘ Crooked Lines’?